We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
