Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
