like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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