I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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