So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize