No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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