The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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