I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
