dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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