At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
