i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
