Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
