Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
