I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
