yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
