I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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