is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
