You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize