On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
