FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
