Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
