so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
