i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
