do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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