if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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