Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
