I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
