Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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