the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
