she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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