maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
