if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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