We need to rekindle our bromance
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
