i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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