so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
