spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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