I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize