she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
