jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
