Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There's always time for handjobs
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
