never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
