Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
