If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
