i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
