OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You smell like stripper and shame
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
