WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
