It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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