Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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