is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
