I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
