AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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