I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
