im six kinds of drunk right now
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize