Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
