Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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