i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
