Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
