the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How's work?
Spinning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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