end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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