biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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