Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
